‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the gym
Not a creature was stirring, not even a limb;
The stockings were hung by the kettlebells with care,
In hopes that my Palm Beach Athletic Wear soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of low-carb holiday treats danced in their heads;
And mamma in her sassy fitness capris, and I in my JACO Cargo Pants,
Had just settled our bodies for a warm Winter workout,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the fitness gym floor to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the Palm Beach Athletic Wear I had ordered was here!
With their amazing website and helpful chat person, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be my Holiday Fitness Gifts, slick!
More rapid than eagles, my Palm Beach Athletic Wear had came,
And the delivery man whistled, and shouted, and called each brand by name;
“Now, Bluefish! now, Element V! Now, Protokolo and Body Angel!
On, Kulae! on, Manduka! On, JACO and Onzie!
To the top of the shopping cart! To the top of the wall!
Now shop away! Shop away! Shop away all!”
So up to the gym-top the fitness brands flew,
With the sleigh full of Fitness Wear, and Yoga Gear too.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney my shipment came with a bound.
It was dressed all in fun, from bow to box,
I knew the gifts would make one fab fox;
A bundle of fitness gear and a sports bra with open back,
And the box of goodies looked like a few fitness tops.
The eyes on my wife—how they twinkled with delight!
When she opened her Holiday Fitness Gifts with delight;
She immediately tried on her looks I knew she would love,
She shimmered and glimmered and looked like a dove,
Her bumm was less bumpy, her curves all smooth, so pleased with herself,
And I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself;
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her routine,
And continued her course; and did squats… fifteen,
She sprang to do Wall Balls tone her muscle,
And away she flew like the down of a thistle,
But I heard her exclaim with glee, which gave me a bit of a fright,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”